Let’s face it – it is hard to be criticised, no matter how constructive the giver of the feedback is. It sometimes makes us second guess ourselves because we anticipate negative feedback. This second guessing could result in us not even starting something leave alone succeeding at it. But it doesn’t have to be like this. The following 6 points will help you see feedback in a different light and use it to your advantage.
1. It is not about you, but rather about what you did or are doing
Considering feedback as a personal insult doesn’t benefit you or the giver of the feedback. Remember it is not about you, even if the words used make it out to be you. Detach yourself from the emotion of the words, and deal with the context. More often than not, there is something that you can genuinely learn from the feedback.
2. Think before reacting
When you get face to face feedback it is often very easy to react immediately. But think before you react. This again is to appeal to your logical rather than your emotional side. This may be easier said than done but taking a few long deep breaths lets in enough oxygen and releases the chemicals in your brain that will calm you down.
If you receive written feedback, you have the benefit of having the time to read and re-read, stew over the feedback and maybe even write a reply. Just don’t send it until you are back to your normal self – maybe even wait 24 hours and re-read your response. This is a good way of using ‘hindsight’ to help you move forward.
3. Clarify any doubts
When you use the first two steps, you are thinking clearly and when you think clearly you will be able to ask questions that will help you perform better next time. The process can now become a constructive conversation that propels you in the right direction to success.
4. Consider the personality of the feedback provider
Sometimes the provider of the feedback may not be able to give it to you in the most constructive way. Consider this before your session. It will help you detach from the emotions and really listen to what is being conveyed rather than how it is being conveyed.
5. Deal only with the facts
Listen for the facts and how you can deal with the situation in a constructive manner. If the feedback being provided is not factual, let it go. This tends to happen when the provider is in a superior position and is in an emotional state. Rather than being dragged down the road of frustration, irritation and anger, acknowledge it and let it go. You can always provide your feedback to the feedback once the other person is in a better mental position.
6. Be courteous and learn
When someone has taken the time to give you feedback, it is important to be courteous and thank them for the time they have taken out of their day to provide you with valuable information. It is what will help you improve and become better at what you do.
If you were to consider feedback as the main ingredient to your growth you will become more open and willing to receive it. If you find that you don’t get constructive feedback, then take it as a sign that you are surrounded by people who are not willing to help you succeed. Everyone saying how great and wonderful you are is fantastic, but all of us have the need to become better and this can only happen through feedback.